In order to be able to have a lucid dream, you have to be able to remember the dreams you have. If you have trouble remembering dreams, there are ways to improve that skill. Imagine “setting the DVR to record” as you go to sleep. As soon as you wake up, try to remember at least one detail from your dream. From there, you might be able to bring back more of your dream. Sometimes, writing something down in a notebook right away will help you to retain the memory.

If you can remember most of your dreams, you might start to notice some common themes that show up a lot. If you can recognize these themes during a dream, it will give you a clue that you are dreaming. Sometimes these themes are uncomfortable or unsettling, and the tendency is to wake up to relieve the distress, but learning to play along and realize that the dreams will not hurt you might help you to work on the problem that might be the source of those dreams. Accepting the situation and playing along with your subconscious can help a lot.

Some years ago, I had to go to some 12 step meetings. One thing I remember from them is the Serenity Prayer, which asks God to grant serenity, courage, and wisdom.

I don’t believe in God or prayer, but serenity, courage, and wisdom are worthy goals. The thing is that accepting the things you can’t change is a path to serenity, not a result of it. I think that our “higher power” comes from within, and the subconscious mind is at least part of that higher power. There might be other otherwise unused parts of the brain that also contribute.

Our dreams are a gate to these higher powers.